so NEAR yet so FAR

you are so near that it will only take me to stretch out my arm and i get to touch you...
you are so near that i can hear your voice even if sometimes i don't want to
you are so near that every time something drops, my world also shakes....
but even with you so near.. i know we have never been so far apart as far as like now..
.... i have no idea if things are still going to get fixed between us... and i have no idea how...
i got hurt and in return i hurt the person who hurt me.... i tried to reach out but that time you were not ready.. you tried to reach out but i already got wary and tired... and things started falling apart big time... and now amidst all the rubble.. i got to thinking... i miss how we used to be.... less complicated..
.........now there are times that looking at you hurts... times that i want to just turn around and hug you tight because of what i see on your face as well as sometimes just because... but there are also times that i don't want to care and i don't want to fix the rift that's growing between us each day... i just wanto turn my back and don't want to see you... i really don't know anymore...
.. for now, all i know is that you are a friend who is so near yet so far... and i..... i will just leave this as it.... coz the rest of that sentence i can't complete and i don't want to complete....